It is hard to imagine that today is my 40th Birthday, that I’ve been on this Planet this long and somehow through all my misadventures managed to live this long, and to have a life. You see even now I cannot see myself as 40 years of age, we all carry with us a certain mental age image in our head of how we look and act. Most of the time this mental age image has us in our perpetual mid-twenties, but now I am at an age were we should be all grown up and building on the successes of our thirties… How did I get here?
This morning as I lay in bed on an unusually lazy Sunday morning for me I let my mind drift back twenty years ago, you know per-internet times, were social networking really was that and didn’t involve Kitten Memes. I remembered that 20-year-old kid that I was having similar lazy morning and thinking of his future – what would he think if he saw me know, would this be the choice he would make, or would he take a different path? How much of me has changed from then? I don’t have that Kid’s unbreakable optimism, the body I once had or the certainty that every choice I make is the right one. But in many ways I am still that Kid, I still dream, I still love, I still try to be excellent and I still drive myself to succeed. I got this far through sheer force of will, a little bloody mindedness and really no plan at all.
Never once did I think on the day twenty years ago that I would take a huge leap of faith and move to the USA, that I would have two wonderful children and have two equally wonderful women (who for some crazy reason love me), in many ways my thirties has been about me finding my feet and fitting them to the path I want to take in this life. I’ve found that path I do honestly want to write for a living, and while the chances of that happening in reality, I can at least write and share my works, to share my dreams, my characters, my voice with you all should you choose to ever read my stories. It may never make me rich and famous, but it makes me happy and its a path I want to walk down.
I think if I could go back and meet that Kid I would not offer him any insight into his future beyond always look for the unseen adventure and joy in your life. Then let him go to see if he becomes that Lifeguard, Designer, Model, Photographer, Magazine Production Editor, Traveler, Painter,Geek, Nerd, Gamer, Artist, Lover, Father, Husband, Writer, Author and Dreamer… Would he take the same life path I did, the same choices, the same chances, would be bolder or more conservative, would he follow his heart or his head? I hope whatever that twenty year old became he at least in his heart remained a Dreamer and of course remembered to have a little fun with the Brunette he was sharing his bed with that day… Ahh the memories 😛
You see I am 40 years old, I’m not quite ready to grow up yet and I am still a Dreamer… Life is an adventure even in the littlest of details… Go live it… Onwards, eh?