The last few months for me, have been shall we say different? While now I’m back at work and things are starting to come to a steady level, immigration is slowing sorting itself out and everything I had to put on hold is now coming back. It wasn’t this way… The start of this year saw me fighting to keep my family safe, a roof over our heads, a chance to return to my job and a literally fighting for my right to remain in the USA. This was my state for almost the first five months of this year as things gradually got worse. My life turned into a badly written lifetime movie, good things happened, I jumped through hoops, immigration gave me a fighting chance. But my old job disappeared despite me doing everything they asked me to do… Money became tight, I couldn’t provide for my children and it all caved in… And after fighting for hope by the fourth month it seemed pointless… I stopped I felt defeated.
I came within an inch of giving up, to stop fighting, it was over. I lost the job that provided for all I care for, I was at least 60 days away from getting a new work visa. What was the point… And for a week I gave up, no more getting up early, facing the day… I stayed in bed late, sat on the sofa and watched TV, over ate, at one point I just stopped making the effort to even go to bed. I was on the sofa no need to go somewhere else to sleep right? I was spiraling… It was depression.
Then something really odd happened… I picked up a pencil and I started to draw. Up to this point I had not drawn anything for almost ten years since I moved to the USA in fact. I dug up my buried Superhero drawing kit I brought myself a year earlier in a burst of madness, it had everything I needed to get started and even raided my Daughters 400 piece art set to use the boxed watercolors. The first images were a series of Tristan pictures, which led to the Cuddly Hero Sketch Cards, slowly with the help of a that pencil I drew my way out of my spiral. There were still moments, but at that point things really started getting better.
And that is how I beat my depression before it really caught hold, with a pencil and getting back in touch with a skill I long left dormant. While I never be a great artist I do have some skill albeit rough around the edges and fairly unpracticed with very rusty skills. So with this I will leave you with these thoughts.
Even if you don’t realize it in the darkest of moments the dawn will break and life will do something amazing if you open yourself up to it. Just don’t give up, find something to keep you going.